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Self Talk

By Ronald Curtis Jr

I believe it is safe to assume that having a good self-esteem can assist you greatly during the course of your life experience. The posture you have when walking, talking at an interview, or prospecting a potential client does matter.

One of the most devastating ways people sabotage their success is by destroying their own self-esteem. Your self talk has huge influence over how you handle yourself. What do you talk to yourself about?

How many times have we been told how great we are, that our potential is unlimited, and there is simply nobody better for the job than we are. Just to turn around and slam ourselves, in our own mind, creating doubts and ultimately convincing ourselves that this is just not true. What you say to yourself does make a difference whether you think so or not.

As we, have been on the topic of positive versus negative thinking, there has been some intense debate. However, as a simple illustration for this article, it would be hard to imagine having great success in any venture, if you are constantly telling yourself it just isn't possible. Take a look at sports for example. When you are playing in a tournament, do you enter into the contest thinking you are going to lose? That would be negative thinking. What is the likelihood you would win, when your expectations are that of defeat. In truth, when you enter into any tournament, your belief is that of winning. Therefore you are centered on positive thinking, expecting victory to be yours. If winning was such a negative experience, why would anyone play the game?

For years my self-esteem was terrible. Growing up obese, you can imagine the ridicule I was subjected to. That constant teasing definitely created a negative self image, and my self talk was anything but favorable. There were times I was so focused on my lack of self-esteem that I honestly wanted to die. When you believe life simply isn't worth living, and your life truly stinks, your self talk will present reasons to validate your claim. What you say to yourself, when no one else can hear you, has major impact on who you are. Sooner or later, that image you have of yourself will shine through.

Obviously you cannot think positively all the time. Each of us will face times in our lives where it seems impossible to be positive about current circumstances we are facing. However, instead of giving up and dwelling on these depressing situations, thinking positively and seeking solutions to help overcome your challenges seems like the more logical thing to do.

"I am a big fat loser." That is an example of negative thinking. "I am a great listener, friend, and lover." That is a great example of positive thinking. We believe in affirming our values. Constantly reminding ourselves of the areas we are improving in and need to improve in. Give yourself praise when you make forward progress at becoming the person you were created to be. Since we are all sinners, and the evidence of negativity surrounds us in the World, we should make the decision to remain positive in our own minds.

As Winston Churchill said, "A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty." A great illustration of positive vs. negative thinking!

If only it were true that one could live their entire life only experiencing positive results, how great would that be? Of course, what might be perfect to you, is a nightmare to someone else. That which is negative to me, might not be negative to you. This is where the debates could go on forever and ever as we all have different personalities, and process information differently. However, when talking to yourself, do you speak in a way that increases your self worth, or do you down yourself constantly? Some people feed off of their own negativity. They enjoy to fuel the anger that they already feel inside and add to their misery. Perhaps the reason they do this is simply to gain attention? Who knows....

"Whether you believe you can or you can't, you're right!" - Anonymous

What you say to yourself is important. Positive, Negative, Encouraging, Discouraging, Good, Bad, it is what it is...... Your self talk could be the difference between living your dreams or settling for mediocrity.

"If great is available, good isn't good enough!" - Anonymous

In Christ,
Ron

PLEASE VISIT THE CONTRIBUTOR'S WEBSITE

Team Curtis Family
Life Experiences of a Stay at Home Dad
teamcurtisfamily.com

Psychlogists would probably agree with you - that is how they earn their money - but this is such a simplistic way at looking at things I feel it must have come out of an ebook somewhere rather than from experience.

There is a huge difference between acknowledging certain personal limitations and assuming such an acknowledgement will have a restricting influence upon performance.

In every sports meet you will ever attend there are competitors who can 'positively' say that they are not as good as the top performers. This is not being negative - it is called being realistic.

Because being realistic also involves the knowledge that there are no rules in life that cannot be bent or broken, at every sports meet there will be at least one competitor who will win despite being less able than the top performers. This is not because they were more negative or more positive. It was because they were prepared to be beaten but entered the contest anyway in order to learn and in order to be in with a chance of winning.

This is called 'hope over expectation' and nothing at all to do with the idea that one competitor's 'positive' thoughts are more powerful than those of all the others. We know that out of 50 entrants in a race, 50 will be positive that they will win but only 1 will. It is a rather sweeping process to say that 49 were being negative.

I write from my own experiences, so perhaps that eBook you are referring to will be one of my own in the near future.

Being realistic doesn't change the fact that most competitors enter the tournament with a positive attitude. Though some will enter doubting they will win, and in most cases, will fulfill that "expectation" with great success.

"Hope over expectation" is thinking positive. A perfect example of David vs. Goliath! "I am the underdog, however, I know I can win!"

If you have ten competitors in a race and they are all exponents of 'positive thinking' - telling themselves that they will win - the inevitable result will be that nine of them will have lied to themselves.

How many times do you have to lie to yourself before you start to realise that it isn't 'positive' to tell yourself you will win - it is only 'positive' if you participate.

I read this article earlier today and found it intriguing. Thought you might find it interesting as well? http://www.entrepreneurs-journey.com/2573/what-is-truth/

Thanks! God bless,
Ron

I remember working with a carpenter and he told me one of his old bosses used to have a saying, "Perfect is good enough!!"

I remember one of my old bosses who used to say quite often, "How do you like me now?" after one of his favorite songs.

I say to myself, "If it's worth doing a job it's worth doing well or not worth doing at all."

I used to have a self-help website, but took it down when I found that the site did not function as the developer promised it would. When I tried to get him to fix it, he would no longer respond to my phone calls or emails. Since the site didn't work, it was of no value, so I removed it. However, a lot of the articles I wrote are still around in various article directories. One of them was titled, "Self-Talk What Do You Say to Yourself". There are about 40 more and you can find them by querying "Gilbert Griffiths". Because they are on Article sites you can use them, or the ideas behind them, for articles or newsletters if you want to.

I don't have any big projects right now. I write Intels for this site and I write entries for my dog's blog...other than that I just enjoy my retirement. Turned 69 last week, so I think I've earned a bit of a rest. My wife doesn't think so though, so she ensures I always have a long "Honey Do List." Keeps me out of mischief anyway.

Hi Gilbert, thanks for the comment! Yes, I will take a peek and see what articles you have out there, great idea! So what is your big project now?

God bless my friend,
Ron

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